Listening and Responding

As we prepare to interact in our first session on Sunday, October 3rd, in our ‘Thinking through the Bible’ lessons, here is something we all will do well to embrace…

Listening without Interrupting

Throughout our ‘Thinking through the Bible’ lessons, we are all encouraged to share our insights, ask questions, and give answers, as long as we follow the guideline of ‘riding the donkey sitting backwards’ so that we ‘live’ in each of the sixty-six Books of the Bible without knowing the future beyond what each Book reveals. 

Important to our sharing together is that we listen without interrupting so that we understand the views of others. Lingenfelter and Mayers remind us: “The key for successful personal relationships and ministry is to understand and accept others as having a viewpoint as worthy of consideration as our own.”

William Stringfellow said: “Listening is a primitive act of love.” But listening has its obstacles, so he goes on to say: “You cannot listen to the word another is speaking if you are preoccupied with your appearance or with impressing the other, or are trying to decide what you are going to say when the other stops talking, or are debating about whether what is being said is true or relevant or agreeable. Such matters have their place, but only after listening to the word as the word is being uttered.”

Listening is one of the most effective expressions of love, because it honors the person speaking. It also communicates that we are willing to be taught by the one speaking. It opens the way for people to share more deeply and intimately about themselves. We will share out of the depths of our lives if we are good listeners.

Responding Wisely Promotes Good Listening

We should learn to respond wisely even when we do not agree with each other. We usually give evaluative responses. This is characterized by agreeing or disagreeing, by correcting any error we might detect, by giving a counterpoint, by saying “Yes, but…”, by changing the subject or by withdrawing. We shift the conversation into debate or close it down.

Let us promote dialogue by:

·         Probing: Ask questions that help us go deeper into the topic.

·         Interpretation: Repeat in our own words what we heard the other person say.

·         Support: Express emotions appropriately.

·         Understanding: Ask for more clarification or details.

Even though we do not always reach an agreement or solve problems, let us have mutual respect and never compromise the dignity of allow for dignity of each person present.

Interrupting others is a way of saying

I know better than you do!
“The first duty of love is to listen.”

(Paul Tillich)

“It is the province of knowledge to speak,

and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.”

(Wendell Holmes)